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Hidden Behaviors Of A Bully

Bullying is as old as humanity and rises from a single primordial source: fear. Fear is…

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Bullying is as old as humanity and rises from a single primordial source: fear. Fear is a common emotion for everyone and everyone deals with their own fear in different ways. Some ways are healthy and rational and some are destructive and harmful. A bully, at heart, is afraid. They are insecure in their feelings about themselves and so they fight that fear by causing fear in others. Anyone has the capacity to be a bully if they are fearful enough. It is easy enough to spot a bully if you are the victim, but it is much harder to tell if you are the one doing the bullying. These are hidden behaviors of a bully, and how to avoid having them.

A NEED TO CONTROL AND DOMINATE OTHERS

People are afraid they aren’t good enough, strong enough, smart enough or powerful enough, and so they feel the need to prove to everyone, especially themselves, that they are. They seek to control everything and everyone because they feel that their lives are out of control, or they feel that someone can hurt them if they don’t have complete control of a situation. They seek to dominate others in order to make sure that no one can rise up and hurt them. The best way to deal with this is to confront your own inner fears about your self-worth. Confront the individuals in your life that made you feel unworthy or insufficient. Identify your control issues and find the underlying reason you feel the need to control everything and everyone around you.

QUICK TO ANGER

Part of a bully’s fear of being out of control is that their own emotions are not completely in their control. They may be emotionally unbalanced or under a lot of emotional strain and lash out more frequently because of this. In order to deal with this, you need to find the underlying cause of your anger and deal with that. Anger management classes and finding other ways to deal with powerful emotions can help control those emotions better.

POOR IMPULSE CONTROL

Anger and fear can override our better judgment and eliminate obstacles to acting on those emotions. People with poor impulse control struggle to control just about every emotion. When a powerful emotion like fear or anger rises up, there is very little within a bully’s mind to slow it down and prevent them from acting on that emotion. Confronting the fears themselves will help with this as will attending anger management classes. Being able to recognize when you are getting dangerously angry and then leaving that encounter before things get out of hand is also a good skill to learn. Preventing incidents is much better than dealing with the aftermath.

LACK OF EMPATHY FOR OTHERS

Dehumanizing someone makes it much easier to inflict mental or physical violence on someone. When a person you are dealing with ceases to be a person and instead become merely an obstacle to your will, then you are dehumanizing them. You can stop a situation from escalating by recognizing that the obstacle in front of you is a person with their own issues they are dealing with. Try to understand that they may be having a crappy day just like you. When you can connect to another person’s situation, then you are less likely to mistreat them.

INTOLERANT OF DIFFERENCES

People are social creatures and it is easy to identify with a group. It is an instinct to sort ourselves out into “tribes” and anyone who isn’t one of “us” is a threat. Religious, political, economic and social groups can easily dehumanize and demonize members of opposing groups because they are part of another “tribe.” This stems from fear of the other and from anger at perceived grievances between groups. When you accept those that are different than you and understand that everyone sees the same things from different points of view, then you can try to find common ground and meet in the middle. Instead of jumping to conclusions about someone’s opinions or beliefs, try to understand why they believe those things in the first place.

DOES NOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS

Serial bullies refuse to accept the responsibility for their violence and instead will shift blame to someone or something else. They don’t see their bullying as their fault. They are reactive rather than proactive. They are reacting out of fear and anger at someone else’s misconduct. They see themselves as the victim or the hero. Most compelling villains see themselves as the hero of their own story. They aren’t responsible for their outrageous actions because they were just protecting something else like national sovereignty, religious orthodoxy or racial purity. Irregardless of the situation, you are responsible for your own actions. You choose to act or not to act by your own volition. You can choose to be gracious and understanding. You can choose to educate the other person in a rational and reasonable manner. If you threaten violence or use violence in order to get your way, then you need to accept responsibility for that action because you could have chosen differently.

FEELINGS OF SUPERIORITY

Bullies often feel superior and use that feeling to dehumanize others as mere inferiors. Bullies can feel economically, socially, racially or physically superior. They use that feeling to justify their actions. When they feel that they are better than you, it gives them the justification they need to treat you like crap. Once you realize that no one is intrinsically superior to anyone else, you can empathize with them. Everyone has something that they are good at, even though everything is not compensated equally well. You might be the most successful investment banker in the world, but without mechanics, computer techs, or carpenters, then you would have no way to get to work, nothing to work on when you got there and nowhere to live. Everyone has something special to offer the world.

BLAME THE VICTIM

Because bullies find it hard to accept responsibility for their actions, they often blame the victim instead. “He/She made me do it,” is a common excuse. You are either in control of your actions or you are not. No amount of hateful words or physical violence is ever justified against a peaceful person or group. If you find yourself blaming another person or group for your violence or abusive words, then you might be a bully. Accept responsibility for your actions and your words. Using violence or intimidation to rob someone of their property, self-worth or rights is always wrong. You can choose a different path. It is your choice whether or not to victimize someone else. Learn to get what you want without violence and intimidation. Choose a better path.

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7 Everyday Habits That Help You Stay Sun Safe

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Sun safety is more than just remembering sunscreen during a beach day—it’s a daily commitment to protecting your skin from harmful UV rays and reducing the risk of skin damage or long-term health concerns. Whether it’s a sunny summer day or overcast skies, the sun’s rays can find ways to impact your skin. Integrate these seven simple habits into your routine to stay sun safe every day.


1. Wear Sunscreen Daily

Sunscreen is your first and most essential line of defense against UV rays. Apply a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher on all exposed areas of skin—even during winter or cloudy weather. Don’t forget often-overlooked areas such as your ears, neck, and tops of your feet. Reapply every two hours or after sweating or swimming to ensure consistent protection.


2. Dress for Sun Protection

Clothing can do more than make a fashion statement—it can be your sun-protection ally. Opt for long-sleeved tops, wide-brimmed hats, and sunglasses with UV protection. Consider clothing with a UPF (Ultraviolet Protection Factor) for an added layer of defense. Tightly woven fabrics offer better protection than loosely woven ones.


3. Utilize Shade

Whenever possible, seek shade to minimize direct sun exposure, especially during peak hours. The sun is usually strongest between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., so finding shade during this period can significantly reduce your UV exposure. Make use of outdoor umbrellas, trees, or canopies if you’re spending time outside.


4. Pay Attention to Reflected Sunlight

Many people underestimate the power of reflected UV rays. Surfaces like water, sand, concrete, and snow can bounce the rays back onto your skin, intensifying exposure. If spending time around reflective surfaces, double your sun safety measures with sunscreen and protective clothing—even in shaded areas.


5. Avoid Indoor Tanning

Indoor tanning is a leading cause of unnecessary UV exposure. It increases skin cancer risks and accelerates skin aging. Opt for self-tanning lotions or sprays as safer alternatives to achieve that sun-kissed glow without compromising your skin’s health.


6. Use Lip Balm with SPF

Your lips are often forgotten but are equally vulnerable to UV damage. Always carry a lip balm with a minimum SPF of 15 and reapply throughout the day, especially after eating or drinking. Protecting your lips can help avoid painful burns and reduce the risk of skin cancers in this delicate area.


7. Stay Hydrated

While hydration doesn’t directly protect against UV rays, it plays a major role in maintaining your skin’s health and resilience. Sun exposure can dehydrate your skin, making hydration a vital part of your sun-care routine. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to keep your skin nourished from within.


Sun Care is a Lifestyle, Not a Seasonal Choice

Being sun safe isn’t just for hot, sunny days—it’s a year-round commitment. By adopting these seven habits, you’ll be protecting your skin from damage and promoting long-term health. Make sun care part of your daily routine, and enjoy the outdoors with confidence, knowing you’re keeping your skin safe and healthy.

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5 Preventive Maintenance Practices to Extend Chiller Lifespan

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Chillers are essential components in many industries, from commercial HVAC systems to industrial applications, ensuring efficient cooling and temperature regulation. However, as with any complex machinery, chillers require regular care to operate effectively and avoid costly breakdowns or replacements. Implementing preventive maintenance practices can significantly extend the lifespan of your chiller, optimizing performance while reducing downtime. Here are five key strategies to keep your chiller in prime condition.


1. Schedule Regular Inspections and Maintenance

A chiller’s longevity heavily depends on consistent and thorough inspections. Regular check-ups allow you to identify and address minor issues before they escalate, preventing major failures. Key components such as compressors, evaporators, and condensers should be examined routinely for signs of wear or damage.

Partnering with qualified technicians who understand the intricacies of chiller operations ensures maintenance is carried out effectively. Depending on operational intensity, biannual or quarterly inspections are recommended to optimize system performance.


2. Keep Condenser and Evaporator Coils Clean

Dirty coils are one of the most common culprits of reduced chiller efficiency. Dust, debris, and buildup on condenser or evaporator coils can impede heat transfer, forcing the system to work harder and consume more energy. Over time, this strain can lead to premature wear and tear.

Regular cleaning of the coils is essential for maintaining optimal performance. Whether your chiller uses water- or air-cooled systems, ensure that cleaning schedules align with manufacturer recommendations. For heavily soiled coils, professional cleaning services may be necessary to restore efficiency.


3. Monitor Operating Parameters

Chillers rely on precise operating conditions. Tracking critical parameters like refrigerant levels, pressure, flow rates, and temperature can help ensure the system is functioning within its intended range. Discrepancies in these metrics could indicate potential issues, such as leaks, blockages, or system imbalances.

Advanced monitoring tools or automated controls can further enhance management efficiency, providing real-time alerts and ensuring immediate action when abnormalities are detected. This proactive approach minimizes the chances of sudden equipment failure while boosting energy savings.


4. Check and Replace Filters Regularly

Filters play a vital role in protecting a chiller’s internal components by keeping contaminants out of the system. However, clogged or dirty filters can lead to reduced airflow, making it harder for the chiller to cool effectively. Over time, this increased load can degrade the system’s efficiency and shorten its lifespan.

Inspect and replace filters regularly to avoid these issues. The frequency of replacement will depend on the environment in which the chiller operates and its usage intensity. Opt for high-quality filters designed for your specific application to ensure maximum protection and performance.


5. Ensure Proper Refrigerant Levels

Refrigerant is the lifeblood of a chiller. Insufficient refrigerant levels can reduce cooling capacity and cause internal components, like compressors, to overwork and deteriorate. On the other hand, excessive refrigerant can damage system components and impact efficiency.

Routine refrigerant checks should be an integral part of your maintenance schedule. Repair any leaks immediately to prevent refrigerant loss, and always refer to the manufacturer’s guidelines for appropriate refrigerant quantities. Engaging professional assistance for refrigerant handling ensures safety and compliance with environmental regulations.


The Bottom Line

Preventive maintenance is the cornerstone of extending the lifespan of your chiller while ensuring its efficiency and reliability. By following these five practices—regular inspections, keeping coils clean, monitoring operating parameters, replacing filters, and maintaining proper refrigerant levels—you can maximize the value of your investment and minimize operational costs.

Proactive care not only reduces the likelihood of unplanned downtime but also contributes to a more sustainable and energy-efficient operation. Take the time to implement these strategies, and your chiller system will reward you with years of dependable service.

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Foods Cooked in a Traditional Umu: A Journey into Polynesian Culinary Heritage

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The umu, an iconic symbol of Polynesian culture, is more than just an outdoor kitchen; it is a communal experience that brings people together around the preparation and cooking of food. Derived from traditions that are centuries old, the umu, or earth oven, continues to be a vital part of celebrations and gatherings, offering a taste of authentic Polynesian cuisine.

In this guide, we’ll explore what foods are typically cooked in an umu and learn more about this traditional cooking method that connects people with history and culture.


What Is an Umu?

An umu is a traditional Polynesian cooking method that uses heated stones to cook food. A pit dug into the ground forms the base of the oven, which is then filled with stones heated over an open fire. Once the stones reach the desired temperature, food is carefully layered into the pit, covered with leaves or an insulating material, and left to cook slowly.

This method not only locks in flavors but also preserves the natural taste and juices of the ingredients, making the umu a unique and flavorful alternative to modern cooking appliances.


Foods Commonly Cooked in an Umu

The umu is known for its versatility—it can prepare a wide array of dishes, from meats and seafood to root vegetables and desserts. Below are some of the most cherished foods cooked in an umu.

1. Meat (Pork, Lamb, and Chicken): The Star of the Umu

One of the highlights of an umu feast is the succulent, tender meat that emerges from the oven. Pork is often the centerpiece and is typically prepared whole, coated in salt, and sometimes stuffed with herbs to enhance its flavor.

Lamb and chicken are also popular choices, with the slow-cooking process infusing them with a smoky, savory aroma that leaves diners craving more. Wrapped in banana leaves or palm fronds to retain moisture, these meats emerge from the umu perfectly tender and full of flavor.

2. Seafood: A Taste of the Pacific

Given Polynesia’s close relationship with the ocean, it’s no surprise that seafood is often a mainstay in umu cooking. Fish, crabs, and shellfish are often cooked whole, enveloped in leaves to protect their delicate flesh from direct heat. The result is seafood that is tender, flavorful, and infused with the earthiness of the umu stones.

3. Traditional Root Vegetables: Taro and Sweet Potatoes

No umu feast is complete without root vegetables. Taro and sweet potatoes are both traditional staples that complement the rich flavors of the meat and seafood. They’re often wrapped in leaves and placed among the hot stones, where they cook to a soft, melt-in-your-mouth consistency that perfectly pairs with the other components of the meal.

4. Palusami: A Coconut-Cream Dish

Palusami is a beloved Polynesian dish made from taro leaves filled with a creamy mixture of coconut milk, onions, and sometimes meat. Wrapped and cooked in the umu, the dish gains a smoky flavor from the heated stones, making it a rich and hearty addition to the spread.

5. Desserts and Sweets

Even desserts find their way into the umu. Coconut-based puddings or bananas cooked with coconut cream offer a sweet conclusion to the meal. These desserts absorb the earthy flavors of the umu, creating a unique balance of sweetness and subtle smokiness.


The Social and Cultural Role of the Umu

Cooking in an umu is more than just a method of preparing food; it is a cultural and social event. The preparation of the umu is a collective effort, with family members and friends gathering to lay out the stones, wrap the food, and carefully arrange it in layers.

During festivals, weddings, or other celebrations, the umu becomes a central part of the experience, embodying the themes of sharing, community, and tradition. It is not only about eating but also about honoring heritage and spending time with loved ones.


Why the Outdoor Umu Kitchen Still Matters Today

Even in today’s modern world of kitchen appliances and convenience, the outdoor umu kitchen holds a special place in Polynesian communities. Its significance lies in retaining the culinary traditions and flavors that ovens and stoves struggle to replicate.


Whether you’ve experienced an umu feast firsthand or are merely curious to learn about this ancient cooking tradition, it’s undeniable that the umu embodies the spirit of togetherness and authenticity. More than just an outdoor kitchen, it is a celebration of heritage, flavor, and community—a tradition that warms both the heart and the belly.

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